Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
Well he paid for dinner, so I paid for the Plan B, but the parking ticket I got is totally his responsibility.
Tell me why I keep soberly hesitating to go pee in fear of breaking the seal. Thank you college.
It was a new level of awkwardness and terror. The high schoolers you fuck in the summer should never introduce themselves to your mom and godmother
Woke up in a kilt. And it's not my kilt. Drinking was a success.
I used the picture of my mom and I doing blow job shots in Vegas in the presentation for my Spanish final. Graduation here I come.
Ok now a guy in a winnie the pooh costume is grinding on some chick to the song shots
Come over, we're having a tea party. And by a tea party I mean we're drinking whiskey from tea cups.
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
How hard do you think it would be to make a drinking game out of a Slip-N-Slide? Asking for a friend.
Just saw the pics from the bachelor party. When the hell did we go to southie. And why was there a chicken in the limo..? You guys really are my best friends.
he just asked me that if he was a penguin and I was a penguin if I would fuck him
All I remember is talking the cops into calling us a cab instead of giving us PIs while trying to wake up your passed-out-on-a-bench ass.
As I walked across the lawn after the party got busted, an officer told me to chug my beer before I left the premises.
After he finished, he fell on the floor and whispered "finally satisfied"
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