I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
Last night was an abortion. I might need a publicist.
when she was cumming she looked like terri schiavo. it took all of my memorized porn images to not go limp.
you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
I just sent a friend request to someone saying that i was the girl he shared a fifth of jager with last week. Thats something special. He better accept.
From the guy that lifted you into a fan I'm sorry
Woke up this morning on my doorstep in a basket with a branch, a lipstick lightning bolt on my head and a sign that said "the boy who lived." i love you guys.
oh sorry. I thought "boat" was code for "penis"
There are some sad choices of men in the ER. That one was missing teeth. Not the place to find a husband.
do you think this outfit says "I maintained my dignity this weekend"?
Whoops. I'm a horrible gf, I dropped the "I'm looking for jobs in a different city" bomb before I wished him a happy anniversary
Is it weird that i want a guy to ask me to homecoming by spelling it out in meatballs?
THATS VERY WEIRD
stop fucking thinking about him when there is A MILLION OTHER PENISES TO RIDE IN THE WORLD
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
Never. No amount of alcohol could convince my brain and eye sight that it is okay to fuck him. I'd rather fuck my cousin.
Randomize
