her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
i was having this nice romantic moment with my girlfriend. then jimmy came in and peed on the fridge
This house was built for laser tag.
standing in line at subway, they've got 'stand up and get crunk' blaring. the lines out the door and everyone is dancing. Lombardi Gras rules.
he said "cool" when i took off my bra and proceeded to stare wideeyed at them the ENTIRE time. it was like sleeping with the kid i showed my boobs to for the first time in 6th grade.
People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
I started making breakfast to subdue the hangover and last of the shrooms and only got as far as eating a half frozen pierogi out of a dixie cup.
There's always the 'not have sex with the drunk girl I just met at some party' option.
That was the plan but Tequila showed up at the party too.
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
Just got outta the drunk tank! Happy 21st birthday!
We found you facedown on his couch in a pile of cheerios, with only one shoe on. Dude you said you were staying in last night.
I can no longer play with you. I puked on my feet in the shower. I'm too old for this.
One door closes, one man cooks for you through the next open door
all I know is that I was naked, and there were cheeto puffs everywhere...
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