If its vodka, everyone is attractive. Tequila, everyone is dead sexy, single and fuckable.
Eating hibachi. The chef is squirting sake into my mouth with a ketchup bottle. Happened twice, more to come.
Just threw up off a chairlift. my life is now complete.
You came back with puke all over your sweatshirt and started doing darth vader impressions
I was just counting ceiling tiles when he ate me out, it was that bad.
She was like the Rudy of blow jobs... SO much effort into it
Everything smells like beer. Everything. But I cant drag myself out of bed to take a shower. So beer it is.
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
I may be going to Mexico. I just met a drug dealer at a strip club. Seems legit.
Also send boobie pics with bobs burgers in background its the only way to get me off anymore
We need to stop going on dates to the strip club.
ever bang a guy wearing an $800 suit? today you will.
I feel like this is something I should shave my legs for
I will buy you batman underwear babe. I'll make sure you wear them every time we have to adult.
Why are there four guys spooning on the living room floor?
They're still there? Shit. They were supposed to leave after they hugged it out.
kick those bitches in the teeth and tell them mama came to party
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