FYI-Owning a kitty significantly lowers your chances of ever seeing mine...
Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
how drunk was i? i pretended i was getting a blowjob from a fuckin dolphin in front of my dad. thats how drunk i was.
Would it be cruel if i sold xanax instead of adderall to freshman unfamiliar to the drug-taking profession?
I feel like I'm a marionette being lifted around. Four Loko.
every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends
Crumbling up chips, putting them in salsa, eating with spoon. New level of stoner fatassery. Its so genius/delicous i'm not even ashamed
Sometimes you gotta say "hey, its been a long semester. Let's puke before 10"
The last thing I remember was paying off her younger brother not to judge me, then puking on his shoes.
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
Well sort of got busted by a cop while having sex outside, so your call
I banged a guy named Robbie last night and in the middle of sex he begged me to scream santos. I'm pretty sure I just screwed a dude with multiple personalities.
Do you know this guy sitting in front of us? Asking for my vagina.
Lady Gaga is doing the 1/2 time show. I hope it's gay and liberal as fuck.
Randomize
