I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
I fuked that chick last night and she kept saying, "oh...oh....oh", like Bill Lumberg
so what did you do?
I did the mash I did the monster mash It was a graveyard smash!
I told her that if she blew me I would give her the empty pizza box in the fridge.... Why did she agree?
what part of what i said meant "bring a bowl"
"bouncy castle"
i tried to climb in the window in the limo because i wanted the driver to take me to get noodles. ive reached a new level of fat kid
Is a wave an appropriate goodbye when your one night stand wakes up and walks out towards the door while you are looking through the garbage for the evidence of a condom?
Boats looked like robot pelicans and time was slow and now im on wipe out
I think I need to expose myself to your dog so he knows that I am also a male.
Am I just high or is she having an auction for her vagina on Twitter
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
for once I'd like a one night stand where I don't meet the guys mom or wife in the morning
immediately after sex he started talking to me about nerdy stuff he meant to text me earlier, I'm completely smitten
all I remember the next morning was crawling through the doggy door and finding my underwear in my purse
I know its 2 in the morning and everything. But i just straight up yelled "DON'T YOU UNDERSTAND THIS WORLD IS DIFFICULT ENOUGH AS IT IS WITHOUT YOU PULLING THIS BULLSHIT ON ME" to my taco. Because it fell apart on me. I think i might be cracking under this finals pressure.
So i dislocated my knee but still went home and fucked his brains out. Nothing gets in the way of my sex life. NOTHING.
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