Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
is it sad that i think every plant i pass on the highway looks like a plant from farmville?
halloween makes it hard to decipher real cops... from sexy men dressed up as them.
so i havent checked yet but im almost positive that my left ass cheek is bruised. any idea what happened last night.
what the fuck man? i was JUST texting you the same thing. FUCK
As per my father's affair, married men are no longer off limits.
Yeah, I think they knew. I smelled like that telltale combination of strippers and Easter.
Haha, apparently they frown upon male strippers there. Bouncers couldn't catch me tho.
wait no I wore my bra home that morning. I stole someone's bra last night?
We're you guys there last night when everyone started chanting "Nacho Steph"? Someone picked me up, carried me to the nacho cheese and made me do a nacho cheese stand.
I had a dream about a vibrator with 42 different settings. If that's not a good indication I need to get laid, I don't know what is
I yelled kanye while he was fucking me. It just felt right
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
I decided taking Molly and seeing Birdman seemed like a wise life choice.
I wanted to write an apology letter to my vagina after that.
I woke up next to my bosses toilet.i wish you had just left me in the neighbors yard.
Randomize
