I woke up this morning and thought "Im sure I've seen this house in a porno" and instantly googlemapped myself
even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
Her hair smelled like a rat dipped in mustard on fire
if it walks like a guido and talks like a guido, i'm gonna fuck it.
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
you will always have a special place in my vag
I don't know if you remember, but I was only wearing an afghan.
Just promise me we won't die tonight. I can't have an autopsy report that reads "stomach contents: Tequila and semen."
My pussy is making all kinds of justifications that my mind would have no patience for if it was still in charge
Do you know how hard it is to was the scent of sex from your hair in a gas station bathroom?!
I'm currently sitting at your kitchen table eating chicken nuggets that I dug out of the trash and thinking about how much I need to get laid.
I'm slowly starting to accept that you have to be a sociopath to be attracted to me
He started praying immediately after we hooked up, condom on and everything.
I can't believe my vagina just got wished happy new year
This is either going to be a hilarious catfish or the fuck trophy of the century.
Randomize
