can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
Out of ice. Vodka+club soda+cut up lime popscicle=I'm an alcoholic genius.
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
Just to give you a heads up, I am going home with your ex-boyfriend.... You can't be mad because he was my ex-boyfriend first
There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show"
Lots of alcohol. 3rd graders fuck me now.
Auto correct or actual 3rd graders?
Just fucking put out. It'll be a good lay, promise. Stop being a prude. Damn it. A boy is trying to put his penis in you. APPRECIATE IT.
You kept showing everyone at the bar your bra to prove it matched your shoes.
I can't turn my head to the left, I'm pissing out of my ass, and my finger went through the toilet paper today... I need you.
The things happening in my intestines right now should only ever happen at truck stops and frat houses.
Dude. Once again. Cleaning house. Found weed I hid from myself a month ago. Celebrating/testing it out. if i dont text back in 10, call dominos.
dont eat that thats our sex nutella.
He cried & told me I reminded him off his mother. I don't want to talk about it. I want to drink about it.
I just made mac at 3:10 am... My life is falling apart...
but like who hasn’t gotten fingered at the state fair?
Randomize
