Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.
Unfortunately, they didn't pull of their wake and bake plans. Instead, they waked and vomited like a half-retarded giraffe till everyone woke up.
So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
Did you ever feel like going into a planned parenthood and performing an abortion in front of them?
Umm..who the fuck is this?
Oh shit
just threw up nine times in the shower.. solid night last night.
The mystery has been solved. Seagulls have sex doggy-style.
Oh no it's bring yor chld to work day...I'm too drunk for this
My head. My head is the problem. Also alcoholism.
Is "incoherent" a legit goal to strive for tonight? Or should I stay sober enough to fuck who I can?
She just lifted up her dress, screamed "This is gonna be a good one!" And pissed on the pole...
I'm 99% sure I just puked glitter. Wine drunk Mondays shouldn't be a thing.
Do you know how hard it is to be while you're high with a chuck Norris poster in the bathroom?
Ugh. I'm going to die alone, sister. Half-eaten by one of my thirty-seven cats and clutching a martini shaker
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
I feel a little uneasy about having my grandma sleep in my bed that I've banged chicks in not too long ago... Fuckin blizzards
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