Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
just threw up while drinking by myself. This is all your fault. You here = a good night, You not here = alcoholism
Just tried to put my sweatpants on backwards...the chances of passing my physics exam just went down about 100%.
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
Be prepared to possibly be invited to a fancy strip club breakfast on Friday and be prepared to say yes.
Guess who just screamed "Everything happens for a reason!!" in the abortion clinic. This girl.
Dad says your scarf isnt fooling anyone and u look like a douchebag, its literally the perfect time to tell him your gay
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
I'm drinking and working out! I'm bench pressing the beer pong table and doing push ups and lifting the chair.
You're 34. You can't make guys wait till the third date anymore. Step it up!
I just put poptarts in the toaster with the wrapper on, that's how hungover I am.
i was watching the elves fighting on my knees while waiting for the shrooms to kick in then i realized
Honestly, you can’t tell the whole sorority he has a donkey dick and expect that no one would sleep with him after you broke up
Why does my mask smell like doritoes?
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