she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
I thnk I just saw a monkey walking a drunk guy.
so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
I need a leather bustier to keep them in.
Too kinky for 11:30am. Stop that.
Just saw the new iPhone. I would totally let Steve Jobs and Jon Ive eiffel tower me right now.
thursday was literally the first time i didnt drunk eat since the bush administration and it was only because i was fucking someones boyfriend. making a mental note to do that more often.
Something about getting whistled at in my work clothes while crossing the street with three Nuvarings in my back pocket feels wrong.
They want yo temporarily sterile ass.
Want to go home, so casually slip my underwear in his pocket. Never seen him grin so big and say goodbye to his friends.
hoooly shit dude in taco costume challenged alpha douche to a fight. he's got catch phrases. come. now.
I'd like to believe that in some alternate universe we are living this wonderful lesbian life together..
I couldn't fall back asleep it was too bright so I just took my sports bra off and put it over my eyes
I seriously doubt this is the first time pumpkin pie has led to a booty call.
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
I'm a mess. I mean I almost got off but I'm a fucking rubics cube down there so il givenhim the point
Guess how much it costs to flush your pants down the toilet?
Randomize
