it's not our fault the pink and the sink are so close together.
You know how I told you I don't have many naked pics? Apparently that changed last night.
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
My mom just told me to make sure my face isn't on the front cover of the newspaper on 4/21. Challenge accepted
She's a virgin AND a minister's daughter. We're one schoolgirl outfit from the dear penthouse trifecta
Let me shower first- i smell like sex and rock climbing (not so sure how that happened)
At least I can pee in a cup like a champ at this point
The water at the venue tasted HORRIBLE so I just kept drinking booze. It was like the medievals.
So I've discovered that being hungover at 25 feels the same as being hungover at 24. Happy Birthday to me.
The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive
Nothing quite like the "I had sex you a month ago and now we're stopped at the same 4 way" wave
I swear to God if you fuck my cousin I will fuck your dad.
I'm not kidding, he literally jumped in the red panda exhibit. I knew this was gonna be a good birthday.
Im so drunk and the cops showed up so i ran on all 4's through the woods because i had no shoes hoping they would mistake me for a fox
I just bought spray paint, a T-shirt, and a box of magnum condoms. The cashier refused to make eye contact! Haha
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