I just gave the bartender my number in roman numerals. If she figures it out, she's worth a shot
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
I spiked my fruit smoothie. Taking bikini season diet to a whole new level
As hard as i've been partying lately their gonna have to revoke my organ donor status
Is this girl REALLY making a smoothie in the bathroom right now?
I don't even see the point of going over to his place dressed anymore.
I hope you fall on your chin.
Jealousy makes you ugly.
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
i'm almost positive she was a dude but like it doesn't even matter
re read what you just said
Hostess is going out of business we'll never survive the apocalypse
The last thing I remember was wearing a sombrero and trying to do cartwheels in the club
You did one successfully. Then smashed into the wall
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
Yeah. I woke up in an awkward three way spoon with him and his sister. Tequila!
You stopped loving me for a minute.
You sent me "Is nap," I don't think that really counts as a conversation starter.
She's licking the vodka she spilled off the desk
Aaaaand now she's drinking it out of the shot glass like a cat
Your drunk self managed to not pee on anyone's bed
Go me
I'm actually proud
Randomize
