Her tattoo has the intellectual profundity of snakes on a plane except you can't laugh.
he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
Hangovers were designed by God when he decided that so far he had taken it WAY TOO EASY on me.
He literally stopped in the middle of sex to look up sex positions on his iPhone...
She's drinking vodka out of a windex bottle. She is spraying it in her mouth and at strangers.
You should kill a bro for me and drag his carcass home so I can study him.
barely 48 hours and I've done the dirty on both of my roommates beds before they've even slept in them
Hooked up with a girl in the dorm laundry room tonight. And got invited to go to Vegas for free. That's how today's going.
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
Mark my words I will never date another cop again. I don't care if he's JESUS.
Well I'm over here squandering a fabulous hair day and radiant complexion
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
Facebook just reminded me of the time I found two IHop cheese sticks in my hand bag. Those were the days.
Thanks for going with me today. It’s been a long time since I bought bra and panties because of a guy
It’s called “shopping for lingerie” and it’s one of the many exciting and sexy things that follow a divorce, along with sexting, sleepovers, and orgasms
But, our next lesson is picking up a younger guys at the bar!
Randomize
