i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
I keep having to talk dad out of putting tequila in the milkshakes.
Exactly how does jacking off in my purse count as a 'early christmas present'?
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
The condom broke. Its OK tho, turns out I was just humping her thigh for 20 minutes. Jager dude, Jager.
The only thing he had going for him was mad fingering skills. the ONLY thing. crayons have a wider circumference.
I don't think people appreciate how hard it is to fuck in a portapotty. Sarah and I had train for that shit.
I don't know anybody that can get the cops to drive them back to the bar after being pulled out of a tree
it happenes
He came on my face and he was genuinely concerned about getting it in my hair. I'm marrying him.
Apparently I've texted the word shitfucked so much it auto-completes it now.
I don't know how I got home but I'm pretty sure the guy in my closet had something to do with it
His dick is curly. It's adorable.
You better have a raging boner when I get to your house and it better be worth missing work in the morning.
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