I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
there was already a condom in her . . and it was bigger than me
i was staring at it trying to desperately see a vagina
Yeah we can't find him. He left a note saying he left and isn't that drunk with what appears to be an attempt at the quadratic formula for proof. He also wrote down his number and left his phone by the note
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
In a bar surrounded by couples hooking up. I'm just staring at one. Not drunk enough. Come save me.
I was so high the sounds of a cricket drove me out of my home at 4am.... Boo that fucking cricket
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
the good news is that even if it's Alex's, I can still say it's Colin's, because the kid will come out ginger anyway!
who knew there'd be a plus side to your ginger fetish one day?
You kept insisting you found queso that's better than oral sex
it was one of those unspoken contracts of silence like "I teach your daughter and you work at a strip club"...I don't tell if you don't
I could tell you were slightly drunk by the time you started having a conversation with my tiki torch
I fit in backpacks. BOOM HERE I AM! Like a stripper from a cake.
you grabbed the breathalyzer at dinner, blew a 0.20 and told the waitress you'd eat her ass
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
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