he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
Went home with a 29 year old from the bar. Life lesson: 9 year olds stay up late sometimes
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
Sorry 4 leaving u in the dumpster last night
after she pushed someone down the stairs to get more vodka we lost her for a while and found her on the pole in the garage pouring water on herself
I just found a tail you can wear naked. Via a butt plug. Who ever said the internet was a good thing?
I BIT YOU IN THE DINING ROOM. I bit you and you crunched
He went to WalMart with $30 and came back with a watch, a basketball and an engagement ring.
You definitely in your drunken state were really concerned you would forget to buy milk today
Drunk naked twister. My place. Heath is trying to use his dick as a third leg.
CSI Miami is on and the guy is trying to save this woman who got shot. By stripping off his shirt & belt. THE WOMAN NEEDS YOUR PANTS OFF TOO
My mom just called hysterical. She and her sister found my dead grandma's vibrator.
The apple don't fall far from that tree.
I used to sleep with a guy on the USA rugby team... He stole my credit card and my Hitman DVD. I'm more upset about the Hitman DVD..
Pretty sure the delivery guy saw me taking a shit this morning
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
Randomize
