you really should stop posting my phone number on craigslist as tranny seeking tranny, last night i answered at family dinner and almost choked on my hot dog
do you not see the irony in that??
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
And then she was like, "don't do anything. No blow jobs, don't let him stick his fingers in weird places because people have germs."
I knew shit got real when the pinapple was gone and people were just passing around the core and gnawing on it.
so i say "rick dont build that sandcastle" and he "says ok i wont" then i wake up and its sandcastle fucking city all over my apartment
It's his sex noise. "I'm gonna cu-THE LORD IS MY SHEPARD AND I SHALL NOT WANT"
Be here at 9 and look fabulous. We have drag queens to impress.
i showed up sober to class for the first time. my prof said that i was "off my game today". i love philosophy
Denis dont give a fuck, Denis drinks out of straws. Denis disregards the fire station & bought 18 fire hoses so he can fight it himself if the farmhouse is on fire.
I might have snap chatted him. So here's what I need you to do. Find him. Abduct him. Get his phone. View the chat so he can't. Then, buy him ice cream. He deserves ice cream.
I'm hoarding IKEA meatballs in my purse
You need to stop vomiting in the washing machine, bro. For real this time.
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
I AM A SEXUAL NIGHTMARE
I sent him a blank text because I didn't want to "drunk text" him.
Randomize
