my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
I was pretty stoned. I thought I needed a seatbelt at the restaurant.
The fact that I found him in his Ninja Turtles t-shirt next to six empty and obviously consumed packs of EasyMac watching reruns of Becker certainly made telling him that I wanted a divorce so much easier than I had planned.
Fyi when u order four mini bottles of scotch on a 45 min flight. The flight attendants jaw drops to the floor.
I just sent a friend request to someone saying that i was the girl he shared a fifth of jager with last week. Thats something special. He better accept.
The fish's death was accidental. We all said a few words at his funeral. Roomie wanted to play only the good die young as he swirled down the toilet bowl
Mom just texted me to see if it was you who was streaking at the Mariner game... Did you accept yet another $1 bet?
I think I died last night. I had 14 beers..well 13 1/2 if you count the one that got spilled on the baby in the elevator.
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
Is it sad that I have better conversations with his roommate before or after sex than I do with him in general?
Just remember, if we get caught, you're deaf and I don't speak English.
it says 'tasty bitch' in sharpie on my tits...
You can't die you're my only democrat family member
Haha just talked to the dude you bit on Thursday. He has been growing a beard to hide the bruising....
I got outsmarted by a door tonight. Twice.
Randomize
