why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
From the crime scene it appears that I attempted to throw up into a candle.
yeah. you were just sitting there watching transformers, caressing your toaster.
I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
I swear if it wasn't for meeting for drug dealers @ gas stations, i would never remember to get gas.
Nothing like a Mormon bachlorette party to make you feel slutty
I've decided I want to blow you wearing a santa hat.
Aren't rabbit ears more seasonally appropriate?
You are a finance major, can I use my 529 account for your bail?
you said you would race him to taco bell but you slipped in the parking lot and just laid there, crying
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
He is more interested in finding his sweater than he is in having sex with me. It better be a great fucking sweater.
Do you think they'll deliver pizza to my mouth
I guess I asked for the two old strippers numbers at the end of the bar and it turned out to be the bartenders mom and aunt...
Well drunk me was looking out for sober me again, hid the beer and bought another case for me
Went to the party dressed like a Cougar and brought a twenty something dressed as Micheal Phelps home. So far I’m loving being divorced. :-)
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