so the situation is a+b=c where "a" is how much you weight, "b" is my gravitational pull, and "c" is how erect your penis is.
Skipped a towel and decided to spit the cum into his face. I now owe him new contacts.
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
Apparently she buried shit in the snow back in January and now that it's melted I found a flip flop, 4 spoons, a bottle of smirnoff, and 14 different candy bars
Beer lympzucs are ki7lling me
Her vagina felt like a fur coat. It was weird at first but I kinda liked it
Oh my Christ. I just came so hard my penis stood back up and took a bow afterwards. I need Thai food.
Twas the night before the bachelor party, and all thru the house...not a creature was stirring, not even a stripper?...
Yes but funny for a 45 year old hell bent on reliving her college days by giving body shots and hand jobs. Not necessarily in that order
Please don't buy a buttplug. It won't fill the empty space in your heart.
I will never use my dick in anger. With great dick comes great responsibility
cant one of your roommates drive you?
You came in my eye once. You owe me.
ill be there in 20
Where are you guys?
Drunk
Randomize
