these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
I'm at subway, this 8 year old kid is judging my fashion sense with his dad. I want to kill myself.
It's ok, he's just 8, he's not judging you.
He just asked why I'm sitting alone. I honestly want to cry.
let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
So when we opened his headboard we found a bottle of crisco sitting on top of his porn magazines.
I guess we all know what he was cookin.
So excited for tonight I might actually pee my pants BEFORE I get blackout
TO ALL WHO WERE IN MY HOUSE LAST NIGHT: WHOEVER STOLE MY BONG AND PUT IT ON THE ROOF WILL BE PAYING MY HOSPITAL BILL FROM LAST NIGHT.. AND BUYING ME A NEW, SWEETER BONG.
Due to the events of st patties day last year I created a moral and ethical policy so that I won't get kicked out of the bar again. It mostly consists of not wearing pants so then I don't take them off at the bar.. and subsequently get kicked out.
They turned motor-boating me into some kind of sick game
Yeah thats cool. We can play the alphabet game while doing bumps of coke in the back of his volswagon
We met a guy named Raymond. You called him ramen all might and told him you would eat him up, "like sex, on a budget."
I am naked in a blanket sprawled on my bed eating a pastry. This is all I want out of life. Ever.
Did I mention I hooked up with another country star? I think I need some sort of trophy for each time, yah know? Or like a sash and I win a badge or patch for each person. Like a slutty Girl Scout.
He started saying the pledge of allegiance so his boner would go down. Merica.
But what we lack in money, we make up for in dry humor and drugs
High me is so sweet. She left not-high me a fortune from a fortune cookie and 6 packets of soy sauce in my tampon drawer.
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