Just incase you were wondering, the count of ladies who have perioded on chairs at our fine restaurant is now at 3.
She left me a voicemail too. It's just her moaning her name repeatedly
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
Wat the fuck dude ketchup in my bong???
I woke up to a text that said, "I can see you but can't get in." It was the pizza delivery guy who saw me passed out drunk on the floor through the front door.
Her roommate "grounded" her because she drunkenly tried to fill their fish tank with vodka
I legitimately forgot how to blow my nose just now. Sleep might be handy.
ok it turns out chain mail does not protect against falling down a flight of stairs. please send help.
i think god would be more upset with me for turning down such a beautifully crafted cock than he would for me liking girls
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
If I ever go to Canada, I'm fucking the maple syrup out of his Canadian ass.
I was weirded out when the chunky goth girl and her boyfriend both started eyeing me and wanted to by me a drink.
Well, for starters, you were growling and slurping beer from a puddle on the carpet. Let's all hope that was beer...
Randomize
