I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
So my mom just called me into her room and showed me a condom wrapper she found in my room. "Oh that's from when I was like 16." I don't think that was very comforting.
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
My psychiatrist is "consulting" others. I am high-achieving nuts.
I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
i was holding a cup in her face for her to throw up in while screaming THIS IS THE DEFINITION OF FRIENDSHIP
Come down. You're the next contestant on this bowl.
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
If thou arrisest to consciousness before I, rise me to an office of alertness for occupations such as brunch. Warm Regards, your roommate.
If it snows I'm just gonna sit at my house in my costume and drink beer by myself all night.
you picked up the vacuum cleaner at one point and said you we gonna beat the shit out of me with it. that was kinda funny
Two cats fucking in the middle of the street. I sat there and watched in my car because I didn't want to cock block the male by honkin my horn.
you smell like cheap hookers & chicken nuggets.
Why did I wake up with BYOB sharpied on my stomach
I JUST WANTED TO GET SOME MOTHER FUCKING TACOS I AM SINGLE AS FUCK TACOS BRING PREOPLE TOGETHER OKAY
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