More dangerous that a broken heart and a shotgun.
So I'm eating my burger minding my own business, when the guy next to me starts up a conversation. Seemed normal at first, stocks, bonds, etc...then he said...and I quote "I can push a bowling-ball up a flight of stairs with my tongue." As I awkwardly laughed he broke out "I bet you I could bite the head off of a rabbit."
So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
it only takes four glasses of wine for me to ride an elephant with a stranger.
that sweater is a total boner killer. you might as well be wearing a wedding dress.
i just put a booger in my mom's hair and i just needed to tell someone.
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
My date just wheeled me home in a shopping cart but it was normal
what kind of one night stand wants to walk you home in the morning? whole diff kind of walk of shame.
I haven't been motivated enough for a shirt. And only half the day was bra-worthy.
You always seem to be able to bribe me with tequila and Mac and cheese. This relationship of ours will cause me health problems someday.
Yes, if by 'finishing my business' you mean vomiting in her bathtub and losing my watch.
Visions of polite missionary are dancing in my head right now kinda and it alarms me
don't do laundry while your drunk! i found a ketchup bottle & clothes hanger in the washer this morning!
Randomize
