so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
Packing up everything in the dorm. Silly bands to unused condom ratio is ridiculous.
he picked an earring up off the bar floor and tried to give it to girls as a present.
Some guy just bought a handle of cuervo, a curling iron, and a power drill. Paid with a jar of change. I'm torn between avoiding him and befriending him..
He was so drunk he was throwing the bowling balls into other lanes on purpose. He still beat my high score thought.
Did I actually say goodbye last night or did I just poison you with vodka and disappear?
I need to stop going to bars and yelling "I could be teaching your kids one day, bitches!"
The word cocktail makes me want to rip my liver out and nail it to a cross.
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
I`m watching Shallow Hal & Jack Black has better nipples than Jimmy's chick.
I mean with a sentence like that I knew I would be cumming
Would you go as one half of Harry and Lloyd in Tuxes to Aaron's wedding?
I showed my cat the amount of coke I had. She looked concerned.
Some guy I'd never met and didn't invite threw the punch bowl at the wall and set the plastic skeleton on fire. I don't think we'll be getting the full deposit back
You were supposed to catch herpes, not feelings!!!
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