Just got yelled at by a priest...again.
dude i need help, im throwing up blood.
no youre not, you just drank a pitcher of red koolaid trying to sober up.
oh, so thats why my junks red.
wow. cant help you there...
What started out as a threesome has become me sitting here watching them have sex... Can I get a ride home?
Some 6 yr old girl just got on my plane in St. Louis. She was wearing an I Love Canada shirt. She eyed the seat next to me and I stared her straight in the eyes and shook my head. Fuck her. Fuck canada.
I've been deciding between brands of bagels for 20 minutes. This why I doint smoke weed.
Almost peed between 2 cars...till I realized that it's daytime and I'm sober.
Just mixed my liver cleanse with Bacardi. Best. Thing. Ever.
Don't worry, nothing happened....but we should have a fire extinguisher here.
all i wanted to do was something grown up. like go to applebees and drink.
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
Chick last night said she only gets off if she rubs her childhood blanket her parents gave her during sex
You should be glad you didn't come with last night. I watched pirate porn for the first time in my life as the 9th wheel.
Some toppless girl just walked past me in the hall and gave me half a carton of smokes. I have never been more aroused.
Haha never eat brownies from a guy with batman pajamas
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