I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
my fingers and penis are no longer on speaking terms. My penis is too jealous of where my fingers get to go.
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
Jon thought he was that blonde chick from Three's Company when he was shrooming
It's tuesday, which means cocktails followed by cocktales.
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
I just saw him carrying his little sister while walking his puppy. And he was shirtless. I swear my ovaries just exploded
Maybe you should start carrying pepper spray. You are like the Justin Bieber of lesbians.
This conversation has now reached a level of awkward that even a passerby streaking hobo couldn't break.
My mom just walked in and she was like "Who ate all of the cheese?" and all I could think of was you trying to become a human taco
Taking my underwear off at work was one of my better decisions this weekend
If y'all wanna know how far the apple fell from the tree I'm sexting during Easter service. Mom would be so proud 😳
I have finally found someone I enjoy for reasons that do not necessarily include his dick
I'M NOT EVEN STOPPING FOR WINE SO I CAN GET TO THAT DICK QUICKER.
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