I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
Going to get yelled at but I labeled the reel "four dried up sluts decide going to the middle east to shop during a war is the best idea ever"
She just took off her shirt and jumped in the kiddie pool. We're not leaving.
Well he's in a two year college so technically hes a senior. At least can we just pretend I'm not robbing the cradle.
There are 3 guys sitting in the elevator in lawn chairs wearing sunglasses and holding beers. the hallway rugs are stuffed in a trash can. i've never been so glad to be sober.
Dude. It just hit me for a second time. My thumbs are huge and moving very quickly. Like stampeding buffalo...
Exotic beer tasting at my apt right now and by that I mean I bought random beer and I'm drinking it on my balcony
it says 'tasty bitch' in sharpie on my tits...
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
Six words: 3rd Degree Burn On My Dick
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
You declared your undying love to a drag queen, then proceeded to puke into the poor man's purse.
I have a terrible feeling that I made out with a fraternity last night
I've finally done it. I finally achieved my lifelong goal of becoming that awkward lesbian in high school who went on to have sex with more women than any of her male classmates.
He fucks strippers and doesn’t have a life plan. Of course I’m going to regret this
Randomize
