Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
I miss Bob Barker.
Yeah, more like Douche Carey...
God I love babysitting. They pay me $10 an hour to watch movies and sext
Yea my vagina was pretty pissed at me for not taking advantage of the situation...
When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
I standby a snuggie being perfectly acceptable attire for drunkenly walking your dog at 5am. Our new neighbors did not seem to agree.
So I'm at the VFW tonight and the shot special here is straight 151 for 2 dollars. They must hate our livers
i feel like i am made of mashed potatoes. i love cannabis pills so. fucking. much.
I COULD BREAK CONCRETE WITH MY FOOTBALL ERECTION.
Well you fished my watch out of a possibly vomit filled toilet so I think we're bros now.
I'm trying to make sure he doesn't drown in the toilet. Because I'm a nice lady.
Omg. I definitely just got hit on by my doctor AFTER he completed my pap smear which clearly showed I was in the middle of an outbreak. What. The. Fuck.
You want further proof that God hates me? Okay. We're on the way to the ER. A homeless man stabbed me at the gas station.
Randomize
