I just got asked by a man in the alley if i would like to buy 50 dollars of meat for 20 bucks. Its been a weird day.
please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
I'm tuning in to watch Heidi Montag crash and burn on the Miss Universe Pageant. Somebody call 911. and I'm not talking about the Sean Kingston song.
Their flight hasn't even left yet and the 'buy food to keep yourself alive' budget is gone on tequila.
yeah, you were trying to hump the doorman.
when did we get a doorman?
we were also in the wrong building...
Then, he just started shoving orange pieces in my mouth as a chaser
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
I made a blanket fort and am drinking Gatorade and eating donuts watching 500 days of summer. I can't keep spending my saturdays like this.
The party went downhill once the fire department had to be called to put out the kitchen fire.
Its bad when you wake up with a penis drawn on your face. Its worse when you find out its traced..
I just remembered that i did pull ups in a bikini on the porch of Red Lobster last night. someone needs to stage an intervention
I found the crust to my pizza under my covers that's cool
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions
Somebody broke the sliding door, and someone ripped the toilet seat off the toilet. So yeah, pretty typical friday night
Best single mom victory - getting eaten out in my dodge caravan in the hospital parkade at midnight.Three words: screaming multiple orgasms.
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