i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
I drowning out her crying with songs from the Beatles it's good for us both. She relives her 30s and i dont have to hear her cry
It would be celebrated in history as "the orgasm heard round the world"
Will you come get her? She's trying to get the pizza guy into the bathtub.
I'm pretty sure you called me last night and screamed that she was force-feeding you a bagel.
Apparently blowing a .28 for a cop and then kissing her on the mouth is technically assaulting a police officer. Who knew.
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
I hate cuddling. I also hate when people breathe. Which he did, a lot. So he can go to hell.
Male strippers are involved. You are coming
Well his dad was his wingman, so I had to fuck him. I didnt want his dad to think that he was doing a bad job and I was drunk enough to think he was doing a good job.
Score one for dad.
Well if your hearts not big enough, your penis certainly is. Just have a threesome
I came on her face and asked if she wanted fries with that. Currently driving to McDonald's.
I'm more than my video games and dildo collection
Random boy motorboated me, handed me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, winked and walked out with some other girl
Find him and marry him.
I need a rain check on breakfast. A frat boy said it was his dream to sleep with a MILF, I made his dream come true and he made me cum
There is no way I’m wasting 21 year old morning wood
Randomize
