My balls are so social today.
he gave me an orgasm. multiple times. the weird stuff he did in middle school is now irrelevant.
so sad. i just ate the last good 'n' plenty out of the bottom of my purse.
I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
Hurry up and get here I'm judging myself
It was like the Alcoholic Olympics...double fisting fifths with eight 40s in my backpack...running from the cops in stilettos. I will have bitchin' hamstrings come Monday.
I want to see boobs tonight. Like, real ones. Your ones.
I'm romantic.
Using the random money I found in my bra from Halloween to pay to print my bio notes. I only brought a debit to the bar. College win.
I think I'm drunk at the airport. Oh the possibilities
its not like i called off work either time for the purpose of tripping, it was more like well, i have nothing to do now today, there is acid and im only human.. but twice
Dropped the bowl in the litter box. But it landed face up. What do I do?
I'm committing myself to dance. Also, I'm unsure if you said space party sounded lame because dude was old, but I hope you're over it because I love space, and I love David Bowie and I love to dance, and you need to embrace this with me.
First contact since we had sex and it's to get my HBO password. I sure pick winners huh
The sad moment you remember you have no power for a week and can't flush.....
Wrong number bro but that sounds like a damn shame.
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
Randomize
