we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
Before I left in the morning I deleted her purity ring app off her iPod, I figured it would save her the shame
there really is only one way to give a PowerPoint presentation in your senior capstone class: still drunk.
whiskey dick. though we did manage to break my closet door and flood the bathroom.
we went to the bar with our boss and you tried to play a song from the atm machine
PRINCE HARRY WAS AT WAL MART SO NEXT TIME YOU BITCH ABOUT GOING TO WAL MART REMEMBER THAT EVEN PRINCE HARRY GOES TO WAL MART.
I gave her at least chlamydia. Maybe worse. She is also into chicks and loves taking naked pics. It's like the less I believe in Jesus, the more he rewards me.
Valentines day isn't about being a couple in love..... It's about chocolate and faking orgasms.
wait, how does the 20 year old one night stand pregnant girl have a superiority complex?
he asked me to lick his asshole and I told him his girlfriend could do that for him
I'm not taking advise from someone who responded to the pickup line "I have a penis"
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
His dad gives me dirty looks whenever I come over though. I think it's because I eat his food and have sex with his son.
So do you want to be the old guy picking up a girl in a mini skirt who may be slightly buzzed before noon from college, or shall i walk over?
Thanks for the bagel and the sex.
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