i may or may not have been spotted by tourists while getting head in the vicinity of the jefferson memorial
As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
If he comes back to you and I'm left alone in lonelytown I'm totally going to poo on your car.
I wish Facebook had filters like: Ivy League school, frat boy, straight, extremely wealthy, great in bed.. I would check all of them
When i tried to give you something that wasn't tequila...like water....you kept saying it was against your religion.
I've always been the spiritual type.
Is it wierd that you're going to be my best man and you've fucked my wife?
I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
i had confetti in my bra
i still find it in random places like a shoe or my car. that week haunts me
there is no excuse for him not showing up to my st. patrick's day party. i touch his dick. i get him on the high holidays.
There is a large scratch and bruise about the size of a pizza bagel next to my vagina. Please text back if you know what happened.
A reason for us to be drunk all week National Singles Week
Actually I more feel like I'm on a ship about to grab the holy grail off an island
The ship is me being high the holy grail is some profound idea I'm about to have
if it looks like there's being an exorcism being performed you know your doing something right.
When he breaks your heart after he reveals he's gay, I'll be there for you. -Love, Dad
All you need is a handful of lube and an open mind
Randomize
