All I've ever wanted to do in life is right
Maybe you should learn how to spell write first
What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
She's like a coupon for free blow jobs. No purchase necessary.
New drinking game: take a shot everytime Jay-Z is played during the NFL draft.
That's the last time I do shots near a campfire.
So is there some kind of punch card you and I get to use every time we fuck a chick with a cast?
I guess, all I remember was giving you road head the whole way there so you wouldn't fall asleep.
You didn't say, "No." And you stole more than half of my Snickers. You owed me that dick.
hey if you're going to the hospital do you wanna pick me up a taco on your way back
I actually had to tell him that sex doesn't replace my Tupperware. Our relationship has reached a weird level.
Remember that time we turned a can of Axe body spray into a flame thrower?
I think "we've never met sober" is a great relationship to have with someone
Never in my life did I think i would give a blow job in the bathroom of my old elementary school. Twice.
for once I'd like a one night stand where I don't meet the guys mom or wife in the morning
i spent most of my hangover doing the math to figure out the last of the alcohol would be metabolized from my system.
thank you pre-med degree.
Randomize
