I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
He said he wants to make an itinerary for the sex we'll have when I come home.
My Grampa even called her out for being a cock block at the bar...it was that serious
Like. There is beer on the other side of that door and 6 yards in. If he's not back in 20 minutes to let me in, I am using this tree as a battering ram.
I wore sweatpants. When I show up to a booty call in sweatpants there's your warning
Don't worry we will all be making bad decisions soon
That's the most comforting thing I've heard in months
He professed his love for me while I danced on a picnic table with a bottle of Absolut. I said thank you and walked away.
That's the fall semester you first snorted drugs off my ass I think
also karaoke with swedish 7yr old and drunk 50yr old = best idea ever
As I came the Sportcenter app played that "dah nuh nuh" chime. Top ten life highlight?
He didn't get how "starting a flash flood in my thunderhole" was a sexy euphemism. Deal breaker.
Someone drank my pedialite!
YOU drank your pedialite. I watched you chase shots with it!
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
Randomize
