I wish I had more reasons to start sentences with the phrase, "Here's the thing you've got to remember about cougars ...
I sometimes forget that turkeys are alive even when its not Thanksgiving.
With sake I got over my irrational fear of seafood. Now I just fear sake.
So im going to watch Hocus Pocus in my footie pajamas... How am I in college?
A disheveled girl in front of me just looked down, shrieked, and yelled to the girl next to her "what is this" while pointing at two large white stains near the crotch of her black jeans. I love that Thursdays are weekends, it makes awesome Friday mornings
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it
Hey.. there are 2 people i've never met before spooning in the bathtub. Please elaborate on what went down last night.
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
It was like the devil him self busted his red hot satanic nuts all over my face and burned my eyes out of my innocent sockets.
I just wanted to warn you I have strep throat incase I gave it to that guy we both hooked up with on New Years.
She went outside in nothing but her panties and came back inside 15 minutes later wearing a different pair of panties.
Egg rolls and cum. Not my worst snack.
What would I even say at the wedding? "Sorry that I still wouldn't sleep with you after four years of you trying...but hopefully my sister here isn't that stubborn" and give him an awkward pat on the back?
She could hold her breath for a long time. Best underwater blowjob ever.
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