There's some strange man with hair that keeps talking to us. I'm scared.
This is how horror movies start. Going to bar with strange hair guy. He's paying. Bad idea?
Ditched hair man. Got free cab ride to market. Want food. I win.
"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13
Dude she only counts as your gf if you're home. We both signed the fair game contract when we became roommate. So are you really going to be mad or come eat a waffle with us?
She came to the party with six kegs and a life sized portrait of Lavar Burton. SHE WILL BE MY WIFE.
He threw up, and left his credit card next to the puddle. He kept on saying he wanted to pay for the damages.
Between the dance party in the car and the distraction of the momma bear and two cubs im a cops wet dream roght now when comes to wreckless driving.
We opted you as the sacrificial dick tonight. We need our patron cafe. Go make some moves.
My bed smells like stale sex...I want it to smell like fresh sex, I miss you.
Please ignore everything I told you about my girlfriends vagina last night.
My dad just saw me take dirty one night stand underwear out of my purse. I'm willing to admit I have a problem
You can't give me tequila around boys who have girlfriends. That ain't new.
I was so high I could TASTE the fillings in my teeth
I would just like to say that I was the one who said that we should find scissors, when they were cutting your hair with a kitchen knife. I am responsible.
I still feel bad for it, even though I technically only videotaped it and helped will to distract the questioning neighbor
My younger brother asked me "to stop fucking his girlfriends older sisters"
Randomize
