Girl farted next to me in class and then denied my high five
just leaving uw hospital. they thought i had franzia-induced appendicitis. whaaaaat
Goldfish can't live in a bowl filled with tequila, lesson learned.
My ex came to my place while I was gone. Random things he took: snow shoes, my laundry quarters, a decorative picture, all my condiments, the container that held my rice and a sticker off my wallet. Then left a note saying he watered my plants and fed my cats. What. The. Fuck.
Apparently I whispered "Jesus was here" and bailed out of the moving taxi.
He just walked from his house to mine. Walked in and asked for a hug and then left.. And he's sober.
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
I can't help you right now because I'm shaving my feet...like a lady.
im buying my prof a giftcard to the state store bc he talked ab crying into a glass of tequila so he deserves it
Do you remember when you first moved into my parents house with me and we came home to find that my dad bolted the headboard to the wall
Honestly after an incomprehensible political rant yoga seems like the best option at 2 am
It's not even noon and I've had 3 people call me a savage, one of them said it in reference to the blow job I gave them. So I guess you could say it's going to be a good weekend
Took an adderall for the first time in a few weeks. Spent 45 minutes peeling an orange TO PERFECTION.
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
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