I feel like if im whacking off more now that i have a gf than i did when i was single, somethings wrong.
If the Four Horseman of the Apocalypse gang banged each other and had a kid, it would look like the creature I woke up next to this morning.
I almost took home a boy from the bar last night, till i realized he was not speaking drunk, he was from another country and didnt know english. that could have been an awkward morning.
dollar beers will do that to you.
It's finally official that I am from Oklahoma. I'm currently sleeping with my ex-fling's brother.
Dude I swear I heard "geet out!!!" when I went down on her. I shouldve listened.
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
When the question of, do you know who's ass has been on the cake you are eating is said... Good or bad party?
I fell asleep on the bus and woke up in Italian Las Vegas. Europe was a successful continent for me.
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
I didn't know your ex looked like a male Khloe Kardashian?
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
His status said "sad." of course I liked it. I don't even care that I was the only one. Facebook isn't your god damn journal, we don't care about your problems.
HOW DID I LET MYSELF GET SUCKED IN HE HAS A PENIS FOR PETE'S SAKE.
I'm assuming you were here at some stage because I woke up alone, clean and in a towel with mum asking my why my shoes, dress and jewellery were in the bottom of the shower.
Randomize
