It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
somehow we got the entire party to start singing "ill make a man out of you" from mulan. needless to say, that kid had the best keg stand i'd ever seen.
Dude they even gave me free lube for being tested! Best. Hiv test. EVER.
Fuck my life, there's a fry in my vagina.
I told him to just roll me a blunt and put it in a heart shaped box.
When you were bringing him upstairs I told him to bring you on down to pound town. you're welcome.
Two drag queens are fighting over me. And yet the night is still getting weirder
there are no losers in shot checkers. only winners.
He said his name was Tony, after last night I will refer to him as Tiny
Tbh I would eat a grilled cheese off your dick.
We knew it was an interesting night when we found my thong wrapped around a chocolate chip muffin in the fridge.
So I think I've successful blown my foot off in a way that's going to make you call me an idiot.
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
It’s just a penis. It’s like every other penis except it’s not the one you’re married to. Ride it or don’t ride it, but don’t agonize about it
Your not going to hell because you need some strange and the neighbor noticed you look damn good in a bikini
Randomize
