can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
just got cropdusted by the delivery guy...this was not in my job description.
This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
I woke up with a crunchy, pink Pepto streak through my hair, no recollection of the last 6 hours of my night and the feeling that all the hotel's staff knew me on a first name basis.
You may or may not have poured bacon fat down her shirt
He just dragged himself across the floor on his back claiming to be "the swiffer" help
It was just like old times except for going to hangover throw up before waking my parents up to open presents. Merry Christmas!
All I have done at work today is eat and try to get my coworker to tie me to his bed again
He looked at me and just said "moist". The entire party shut down from uncomfortableness. He is an anti-party wizard.
MY INSIDES ARE BASICALLY BEING WRUNG BY A CHAINSAW IM NEVER TAKING PLAN B AGAIN
My room looks so cute. Who wouldn't want to hook up with me in here?
I puked on her cat, I think I should at least buy her breakfast
I woke up saran wrapped to a chair....
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
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