this kid down the hall keeps banging on his drums...i feel like i'm living in jumanji
Just saw the liqour store owner get into a mercedes, almost proud to be responsible for that
I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
No, I stopped taking my meds because I like crazy me better
I really couldn't tell if she was disgusted with the fact that I yacked on her shoes, or if she was about to do the same to me.
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
If you go to the bathroom don't ask why there's diet coke on the toilet. Loller copter. Blow is fun.
Tried to make out with a statue, turns out it was a person.
Drunk at ten am watching Californication re runs. Being divorced rules.
Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.
I had to smuggle a street sign attached to a 14ft long pole out of my house this morning. The list of reasons for me not to drink just keeps getting longer.
Dude what the fuck...
After Madison dropped a bottle of full vodka an it shattered on the floor, it was quiet for literally 3 min straight and then drew said "the booze gods have spoken"
I accidentally mass texted his dick pic. Not only to my friends, but to my dad as well...
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
Randomize
