that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
Acid is not a monday night drug
Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
I went to check the drunk texts i sent last night but my phone deleted them already. Even my phone is ashamed.
Do you think it would be a good idea to mention in my admissions essay that I was the guy that streaked across the soccer field last year?
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
Fucking plugged the shower with taquitos I just threw up.
i feel like my tongue has its own mouth, and that mouth just bit its tongue and is clenching its teeth.
i told myself when i was 16 i would never fuck an Alan. now i've fucked 3 and i'm punching my 16-year-old self in the face
I just wanna have sex and go to Denny's after is that too much to ask for.
WHY DID YOU DRUNK DIAL MY MOM?!
Because mine was sitting on the bar stool next to me...
i had every intention of working out now im just drinking wine and thinking about taking nudes in my thigh high tube socks
I have standards. Maybe not when it comes to men.. but definitely when it comes to sex
Dude I pissed in her little brother's closet and when I tried to flush the doorknob her parents came out and saw me standing there naked, no more ambien for me
Randomize
