i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
I should have to wear a sign around the rest of the day so everyone knows the shame I feel.
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
I already have one guy that I have regrettable sex with. I don't need another.
I have reached the point in my life where I realized this is what I'm going to do for the rest of my life. Eat, shit , bar, drink, drank, drunk.
She's calming us down by shoving oreos in our mouths
Last night dinner was cinnamon buns and whiskey. At least tonight I had a fajita with my cookies and tequila. I may be a little stressed about these end of semester tests.
The last thing I remember about last night was guzzling white zinfandel out of the box and eating cheese. And I was thinking OH YOU FANCY HUHHH
No one should ever be so high that they forget the food. That's just...its a violation of God and Nature, of the very laws that we live by!
Now everytime I sit on a toilet I think about having sex with him. Great.
It's very rude to dive mouth-first into someone's crotch without knowing if their wife is cool with it.
You know you've been on Tinder too long when you're the guy cropped out of the profile pic. Of a woman you're still seeing...
i feel like i shouldn't just had to send a text that said "no i will not eat your ass"
Do you remember punching the light out in the bathroom? I didn't, and that was at bar 2 of 4…
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