There isn't a single transaction on my online bank account that doesn't involve drugs or alcohol since November 12
you decided to have a spaghetti fight but then you got greedy and decided to eat it all.
Well I woke up with a note on me reading Dear Passed Out Girl, and ending with why I shouldn't drink so much. Damn Tequilla.
I didn't think it was possible, but that girl next door is even louder when drunk.
If it's any consolation, I've been sitting in the hallway in assless chaps for the past thirty minutes
What can I say, I bounce back quick. Never thought the line "my turtle died" would get me so many free drinks last night
Santa was walking around downtown handing out stuff at the bars. He gave me a free eyebrow wax. I think he's trying to tell me something
Ita all starting to make sense i need vodka like i need air
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
Lol no. She's home safe. You forget she is too pretty to get arrested.
It's like you know you got fucjed up when you wake up and check fir your own pulse
totally just stole a 24 pack straight out of the miller truck
IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP
Have you ever thrown up in the middle of your hair appointment? Cause I have..
you said, "the pool was totally tequila. and i left my shoe halfway across town. and by shoe i mean car" it appeared to me that you didn't have your shoes or car.
Randomize
