i thought i deleted your number from my phone...Wtf
just fell over trying to sit on the toliet like a robot.
i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
we went to the store to buy cookie dough and conditionally went straight towards the booze
we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
Some advice...don't play drunk rock em sock em robots. With actual people. I have bruises EVERYWHERE.
perfect irony that i'm celebrating international women's day with a yeast infection
His personality is sparkling but nothing beats his ass
Pretty sure I scared him off for good. The lesbian in me is ecstatic.
If you wondered to yourself today, "did Sarah break her bathing suit strap and flash a pool full of children," the answer is yes.
Quick!! What's a good reason for me to have rug burn on my chin?
Let's never forget the time I met you while you were running down the street naked and in handcuffs.
Three of my exes and one of my exes' brothers have hit me up and it's only been a week. I hate semester break.
So I'm hiding in my bathroom smoking bowls because my landlords kids came over to visit my dog... My life has reached a new low
Emergency. I brought a boy home and we fell asleep, but I just woke up to him peeing against my bedroom wall. So I brought him to the bathroom but he fell over and he's sleeping in the tub. Can I leave him there? Because that's what I've done.
Better the hardwood than the carpet, right?
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