I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
Word to the wise: learn how to ask "What is my bail posted as" in French before traveling abroad.
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
I just ate a whole bag of celery instead of getting up to get a glass of water. That high.
The bartender just started bringing me gin and tonic in a pint glass to save himself trips...
I can't believe you're trying to guilt me into a blow j because a tornado made you homeless.
Is it working?
I just had to explain to my 62 year old advisor what "tea-bagging" was in the middle of her lecture. I smell extra credit. And maybe a demonstration.
I made out with a guy because he was sitting on my coat...
Opened the apartment door and the smell of sex and weed literally slapped me across the face. Kudos.
We were getting breakfast he shit himself in the middle of ihop. Mid bite he just yells out o fuck.
Good dick will make you do a lot of things… Great dick will make you consider buying a house.
Science requires me to take a picture of your nipples.
If sending nudes to tinder boy is considered functional then yes.
I just tripped over a but plug that was on the floor. It's 430 in the morning
I have just discovered the land of milk and honey. and by milk i mean vodka and by honey i mean tequila.
Randomize
