Thats the last time I go out drinking with my Irish friends. Two shots of flaming sambucca = bar on fire. I was only trying to high five the barman.
i think i would be more confident if i were chinese.
dont like to call her my roomate, too cordial. i refer to her as the whore that was assigned to live with me
it was like getting a handjob from robocop
Sex with him was like teaching a two year old how to work a machine gun
FYI I'm about to upload a vid of you to facebook of you screaming "SNACK ATTACK" and throwing cheetos at everyone playing pong...
Let me start this apology by saying I'm sorry that I bit your penis.
All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
I'm really really gonna try not to at least one night. The 4 day thanksgiving bender almost killed me last year
We had a pillow fight. It looks like an angel exploded here. A DRUNK ALCOHOLIC ANGEL
Wait, you seriously DON'T keep vodka in your backpack??!??!?
You've thrown off my entire schedule. Usually SATURDAYS are my "try to hide the jizz on my leggings" days
Dude, get out of Andrea's vagina and call me back
I remember looking at his body and thinking wow you have a body sculpted by Jesus himself. Still not sure if I said that out loud or not
I'm surprised this is your first encounter with pepper spray. surprised, and somewhat proud.
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