hey, what are you doing? my roommates are gone for the night... you should come over ;)
nah, i'm gonna grab some food
Just transferred the sun chips from that obnoxious Eco-friendly bag into a zip lock. Fuck the environment, that bag is loud.
I'm about to enter vancouver's biggest liquor store. I feel like I should sent you a "wish you were here" postcard.
Things are going great. I have tons of beer, margaritas, and theres an inflatable swan in the mix.
just got hammed at grandma and grampas 30th aniversary bash .. from the looks i was getting im guessing i wont be seeing an inheritance ...
But I was triple fisting doubles, that's bound to be a good time. Might have a broken collarbone though.
Getting high magically turns headaches into rainbows.
if creating a fake 8 year old brother, who lives with me and has had mono for the past month, to explain why I have ignored my group project members is wrong, then I... well then I'm probably going to hell
Discovered a freckle on my clitoris. What have you done today?
I don't need my coworkers thinking I'm a nutcase.
You gift wrapped a tampon.
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
I just saw a guy in a hazmat suit riding a tractor.
I like being woken up by phone calls of you sabotaging marriages
This morning, I found 5 naked people in Steve's bed with post sex hair, and Steve fully clothed sleeping on the ground.
It's sunday night and I just went to the store to buy cookie dough and condoms, I'm so proud of myself.
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