All i learned in high school was how to sell drugs
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
oh good. ive just found out that i went downstairs at 6 am still blacked out and had a 30 minute conversation with my mom about the different ways to feed our dog
i think you're the only person in the world who masturbates to food network.
You stood up gave the stripper 15 ones in a wad, hugged her and then sat back down.
Guys, right now i need a picture of a squirrel, preferably with one of you guys but not necessary.
Three things I need a picture of: your friend, your bong, and your dick.
He's upstairs shouting 'FUCK OFF I'M IN MY MOTHERFUCKING ZEN ZONE' out of the window.
I just set a reminder on my phone to get star spangled hammered this weekend.
2013: the year of legs covered in hair and pregnancy scares.
Pumped to get "pass out-wake up in Berlin-buy a chinchilla" drunk?
Look, if this is a cop, just lemme know that Mike is ok. Fuckin all star game
Why is there a mildly painful bruise on my back?
You slipped off the sink last night.
Why was I on the sink......?
;)
Alcohol. Making me feel good about myself since 2008
Ahhh, the bane of our relationship.... His mediocre penis
Randomize
